National
Cheetos Announces New AI Cheetos
Frito Lay, the snack manufacturer and subsidiary of PepsiCo, announced today that they are releasing a new twist on their classic snack Cheetos with...
AI Fires Missile Toward Russia After Hungry Officer Mistakenly Types In “Launch Order”
QUANTICO, VA -
In a surprising development at CENTCOM Air Force Regional headquarters Tuesday, an AI bot launched a missile toward Russia after Senior Airman...
Former President Says He Wasn’t An Officer Since He Was Rarely In The Office
JUPITER, FL -
Addressing controversy surrounding his time as president of the United States, former President Donald Trump asserted in court on Thursday that he...
Frozen Iowa Caucus-Goer’s Dying Wish To Own Libs
ORANGE CITY, IA -
In the small town of Orange City, where winters can be harsh and unforgiving, local man Aaron Kinsberg made the ultimate...
Founders Terrified Of 34 Year-Old Presidential Candidate Agree It OK To Be Insurrectionist
In the dimly lit chamber where they gathered to sign the US Constitution, a collective sigh of relief echoed among the founding fathers on...
Friend Quits Job To Painstakingly Hand-Letter 1,200 Christmas Cards With Quill Pen
BARLOW, DELAWARE -
In what you fear might be a case of a person taking Christmas crafting a bit too far, your friend today turned...
Yale Graduate Announces He Forgot Erything He Lrn At Yale
Governors - they're just like us!
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Florida School Principal Fired After Math Teacher Writes 69 On Chalkboard
Really there should have been a trigger warning.
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80 Year Old Generation Of Lawmakers Makes Way For New 90 Year Old Generation To Take Over
People love a good franchise.
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House Announces Investigation Into Woke Easter Bunny
Those multi-colored eggs are no accident.
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Congressman Secures Coveted Chairmanship Of Committee On Teen Hotties
He can do a lot of good there.
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Local Man Unclear Why Gun Not Appropriate Tool To Fix Car Engine
It works for everything else.
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Mar-A-Lago Disputes Lax Security, Releases Image Of High Grade Master Padlock
PALM BEACH -
Golf club and national historic landmark Mar-A-Lago in Palm Beach, Florida, today disputed the FBI characterization of lax security around top secret...
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