LINCOLN, NB –
Times may change but the passing of wisdom from older, wiser Americans to the younger generation is a cherished part of American life that never goes out of style.
And so it was in Lincoln, Nebraska this week, when 78 year old Horace Landry explained to his 6 year old grandson on their weekly walk to nearby Lake Mead that his president was an ignoramous.
“Tommy, you’ll find out in life that there are a lot of different kinds of people in the world,” prefaced Mr. Landry as they walked past the hedge on the corner of Kerrington Road on the outskirts of town. “Good people, mean people, tall people, fat people, all kinds of people. The world is full of people, and they are all different.”
Not Everyone Is Smart Like You
“And also, as you grow up and meet lots of people, you’ll discover some of them are idiots,” said the elder Landry.
“There’s nothing wrong with being an idiot. There are lots of fine people who are idiots – like your Aunt Marian – who just need a little help once in awhile to figure things out. They’re a little slower than the rest of us. Maybe they can’t figure out football, or directions to somewhere, or how to pronounce someone’s name. They are just morons, and that’s just the way it is.”
Your President Is An Idiot
“Your president is one of these idiots,” said Mr. Landry matter-of-factly. “You can tell by the way he talks in circles and can’t figure out what the smart people are doing. And the way he makes up stuff that isn’t true and keeps telling people how smart he is. It’s because he doesn’t know any better due to the fact that he’s an imbecile.”
“Now, does that mean we don’t love our president?” asked the grandfather. “No, indeed. He is our president, so we do love him. And we need to show him the same respect that we would show any president.”
“It just means we need to keep the dangerous stuff away from him. Like when we put the knives out of reach from your little brother. He isn’t old enough to handle something dangerous – that’s the same thing with the president. The generals, and the people in congress, and the judges need to keep the dangerous stuff away from him, so he can’t hurt himself or anybody else. That’s what you do with idiots. You just keep need to keep an eye on them.”
How About An Ice Cream?
Young Tommy Landry listened to his grandpa, and nodded that he understood when asked. Tommy then requested their traditional ice cream cone on the way home.
“Of course, Tommy. We wouldn’t want to miss out on an ice cream cone, now would we?” said Mr. Landry. “What flavor are you going to get today? Chocolate?” Tommy nodded. “Great. I’m going to get chocolate, too.”
As the two generations of Landrys started their trek up the beach from the lake, Tommy asked whether the president had a favorite ice cream?
“I’m sure he does,” said his grandpa. “Even and idiot knows the answer is ‘yes’ if someone asks you if you want ice cream,” he chuckled.
“Or at least I think the president knows that.”
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