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Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Former President Obama Hops Into Space Shuttle, Abruptly Leaves Earth


Amid the chaos of two hurricanes, an earthquake in Mexico, nuclear threats from North Korea and a White House administration in turmoil, Former President Barack Obama this week jumped into one of the nation’s space shuttles, initiated a launch sequence, and blasted off into outer space.

The security guard on duty at the time, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the former president showed up for a tour unexpectedly at the Kennedy Space Station with his family Thursday afternoon. At the conclusion of the tour, the former president asked if he could see one of the shuttles. Upon being let into the shuttle, he suddenly side-stepped the Space Center employees, quickly ushered in his family, locked the shuttle door and began firing up the engines.

The space shuttle Atlantis, which had been mothballed in storage at Cape Canaveral, is no longer on active duty but is kept in flying condition for emergency use in case it’s needed for the international space station.


Former President Heading For Moon Colony

Based on the trajectory of the shuttle, Former President Obama appears to be headed for an undisclosed moon colony, which was a secret project of his administration that was constructed hastily during the later stages of the 2016 presidential contest. The moon colony, code-named Moon-A-Lago, was completed the day of President Trump’s inauguration and has been ready for human habitation for several months. It is well-provisioned, and can support 25 people comfortably for up to 100 years.


Little Known Privilege

Although it’s not widely know, all ex-presidents are allowed access to space shuttles once they retire from office in case an emergency evacuation becomes necessary due to the planet experiencing a cataclysmic event or falling into alien hands.

Asked whether the Air Force will pursue the former president to recover the shuttle, Colonel Martin Waters said there were no other shuttles that were currently mission-ready, and that it is unlikely congress will authorize the funding needed to prepare one.

“While we would like to retrieve the shuttle for use here on Earth at some future date,” said Colonel Waters, “the reality is the Ex-First Family can remain on the moon for as long as they choose. Moon-A-Lago was designed to preserve the human race in the event of the destruction of our planet. And I think it’s pretty obvious to even the casual observer that having a representative of our species living somewhere other than Earth right now is not only a smart move, it’s just plain common sense.”


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