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Sunday, July 14, 2024

Congress Experiments With New “Throw Bums Back Into Office” Campaign

 
WASHINGTON DC –

Although currently in control of both Houses of Congress and the presidency, Republicans have abandoned their previous campaign strategy of convincing voters to throw incumbents out of office, and have begun testing a new approach for the 2018 midterms.

The strategy, dubbed “Throw The Bums Back Into Office,” is designed to help candidates currently serving in Washington gain the support of voters who’ve been told for years that everyone in Washington is a crook.

“It’s not exactly ‘Make America Great Again,” said Republican Strategist Mort Wilfers, “but it’s breaking thru in some test markets, and we seem to be getting the desired message across.”

 

Status Quo Do-Nothings

Republican commercials airing in recent elections have attacked Democratic challengers as being “status quo,” and blamed them for the continued dysfunction in Washington, while encouraging viewers to forget that many Republican candidates just had four years to get something done.

“Most people don’t understand what the phrase ‘status quo’ actually means – but they know it’s bad,” said Stan Kerrington, a GOP social media strategist. “Our challenge is to convince supporters that the other candidate is the problem in Washington, even though that candidate may never have actually set foot in the nation’s capitol.”

 

Keep The Bums In Washington

“If you think about it, most people would rather not have bums come and live in their state anyway,” said Mr. Kerrington. “So, really, by voting to keep the bums in Washington, they are helping to keep their local area free of undesirable politicians.”

“At the end of the day, we just want to support citizens who are angry about what’s going on in our government, without making them think too hard about who actually is in that government,” said Mr. Kerrington.

“Or at least, about whether the candidate they voted for in the last election, who just spent four years in Washington, had anything to do with governing whatsoever.”

 
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