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Sunday, December 22, 2024

Local

Woman Can’t Believe You Think Tinder Photo Resembles You

  SEATTLE, WA - Though she's been on enough dates to know that people rarely live up to their online profile photos, still, a local woman...

52 Year-Old Businessman Completely Unaware Of Child-Like Existence

PALM BEACH, FL - Citing passing grades at prep school, his hiring by a friend to a prestigious job in a Fortune 500 company, and...

3 Month Old Baby Can’t Believe WTF Going On Around Here

YOUR TOWN, USA - When local baby Riley Johnson was born three months ago, the world seemed to be an orderly run place, with doctors,...

Local Pastor Struggles To Find Reassuring Theme

BRADINGTON, OR - Despite the many good news stories that are happening in his congregation, and the lack of any significant problems in his life,...

AOL Messenger Caught Fleeing From Police, Service To Close Indefinitely

  MENLO PARK, CA - In a dramatic high speed pursuit that began early this morning outside the former headquarters of AOL / Time Warner, police...

Phone’s Failure To Charge Sends Daughter On Rage-Filled 7-State Crime Spree

YOUR TOWN, US - Reportedly driven by a fit of uncontrollable fury after 20 minutes of her phone refusing to charge, authorities say your daughter...

Mom With Seven Kids Says Noise-Cancelling Headphones Saved Her Life

  NEWTON, NEVADA - Margaret Billingsly is a stay-at-home mom in a house with an awful lot of activity. Between her 5 boys, 2 girls, dog...

English Teacher Admitted To Psychiatric Ward After Diagramming Trump Sentence

  OMAHA, NB - A fifth grade teacher in the Omaha public school system, Mary Gaansevoort, was admitted to a local psychiatric hospital Saturday after what...

Cat On The Lam Trying To Forget The Past

  MIDWESTERN UNITED STATES - The road can be a lonely place for anyone, but imagine being trapped on the run, unable to return to familiar...

Man Discovers Beneficiary Of Wife’s Insurance Policy Is Roosevelt Cat

  HEATON, ND - While searching for a document to prepare his tax returns, a local man this week discovered to his chagrin that the beneficiary...

Happy Drone At Your Window Not Looking For Anything In Particular

  YOUR TOWN, USA - Area residents this week flooded the local police station with anxious calls concerning cheerful, happy-looking drones in their neighborhood looking...

Wolf At The Door Breaks In, Takes Man’s PlayStation

ATTERBURY, IN - A wolf at the door of a local man's house who had been hanging around for several months finally broke...

Man Asks Heart Surgeon If Billionaire Could Operate On Him Instead

  TUSCON, AZ - A local heart surgeon preparing to do complicated surgery in Tuscon this week was taken aback by a request from one...

Local Man Who Thought He Saw Satan On TV Relieved It Sebastian Gorka

RUBERGH, IN - A local farmer in Rubergh, who was startled Wednesday morning by the sight of the Anti-Christ speaking to the nation on...

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