National
Fall Is That Time Of Year Again
YOUR TOWN -
In a sign that the more things change, the more they stay the same, fall is shaping up to be a very...
President Trump Proposes Hefner Memorial On National Mall
WASHINGTON DC -
Reportedly distraught over the recent death of publisher, impresario, and abortion rights advocate Hugh Hefner, President Trump has called on congress to...
GOP Introduces New 402K Plans, So Americans Can Save For Routine Medical Care When They’re Broke
WASHINGTON DC -
In response to complaints from health insurance companies that too many Americans are going into bankruptcy, Republicans have introduced a new tax...
Mom With Seven Kids Says Noise-Cancelling Headphones Saved Her Life
NEWTON, NEVADA -
Margaret Billingsly is a stay-at-home mom in a house with an awful lot of activity. Between her 5 boys, 2 girls, dog...
Satan Worshiper Criticizes Nazi Protesters For “Ridiculous Showboating”
GREEN BAY, WI -
Like many Americans watching the Charlottesville protests on TV, Doug Abelman, an avowed worshiper of Satan, was disgusted by what he...
President Trump Receives Congratulatory Call From Bald Eagle
WASHINGTON DC -
After claiming to have received phone calls of praise from the head of the Boy Scouts of America, the President of Mexico,...
Three Generations Of Mayflies Remember Life Under Press Secretary Scaramucci
LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY -
For millenia on earth the sun has risen every morning. Stars have come out each night. And ocean waves have crashed upon...
Russian Maker Of Voting Machines To Supply Polling Stations For 2020 Elections
UNITED STATES -
There was big news in the automatic voting machine industry this week: a Russian manufacturer has reportedly secured a large contract with...
Grandpa Explains To Young Grandson “Your President Is An Idiot”
LINCOLN, NB -
Times may change but the passing of wisdom from older, wiser Americans to the younger generation is a cherished part of American...
Circus Employees Attack Bread Factory, Burn It To Ground
PENSACOLA, FL -
Pandemonium broke out at dawn this morning in the Florida Panhandle when angry circus employees in Pensacola attacked a bread factory next...
President Trump Begins Impeachment Proceedings Against VP Mike Pence
WASHINGTON DC -
Declaring that "the American people deserve more from this administration," President Donald Trump called a press conference this morning to announce that...
President Trump Announces Historic Getting Out Of Bed
WASHINGTON, DC -
The White House media team was in overdrive yesterday as President Trump called an impromptu news conference to announce another historic...
President Trump Assures Americans Nuclears Not That Big A Deal
MAR-A-LAGO, FL -
In response to escalating concerns about the possibility of a nuclear war with North Korea, President Trump reached out today to assure...
Trump Revelation: I Taught Chuck Berry How To Play Guitar
PALM BEACH, FL -
Although the country continues to mourn the death of consummate songwriter, guitar virtuoso, and architect of Rock and Roll Chuck Berry,...
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