Shop Teacher “On Patrol” No Longer Showing Up To Teach Classes

Shop Teacher “On Patrol” No Longer Showing Up To Teach Classes

  CLARKTOWN, AR – In what has become routine for students in Gantner Middle School’s 5th hour wood-working class, students found themselves without a teacher again on Wednesday when industrial arts instructor Marvin Haurbruch spent the entire afternoon on a reconnaissance mission along the school’s playground perimeter. The teacher’s self-described “patrols,” performed while carrying a […]

Dog Finally Sneaks Up On Cat, Savors Moment For Dogs Everywhere

Dog Finally Sneaks Up On Cat, Savors Moment For Dogs Everywhere

  GREENHAVEN, AR – In a series of quiet movements that played out over more than two hours on Tuesday night, Sparcado, a two year-old chihuahua belonging to the Richter family of Greenhaven, Arkansas, finally snuck up this week behind the family cat Boris, taking the feline completely by surprise. Boris was busy watching a […]

Elderly Couple Repeatedly Misusing Internet Meme “Cash Me Ousside”

Elderly Couple Repeatedly Misusing Internet Meme “Cash Me Ousside”

  POUGHKEEPSIE, NY – A local elderly couple has provoked frustration and numerous corrections from their grandchildren this week by continuously misusing the 2017 internet meme: “cash me ousside, howbow dah.” The phrase, originally a quote uttered by 13-year-old Danielle Bregoli on an episode of The Dr. Phil Show, during which she challenged the audience […]

Woman Can’t Believe You Think Your Tinder Photo Resembles You

Woman Can’t Believe You Think Your Tinder Photo Resembles You

SEATTLE, WA – Though she has been on enough dates to know that real people rarely live up to their profile photos, still, a local woman was completely dumbfounded today when she realized that you think your photo on Tinder is actually an accurate representation of what you look like.   Cannot Possibly Be The […]

Man Plays Dead To Avoid Doing Household Chores

Man Plays Dead To Avoid Doing Household Chores

  GATERSVILLE, FL – Local math teacher Roger Pardow was a little sore when he woke up this morning from cleaning out his garage the day before – and he had a bit of a headache, too, from drinking a few beers during a late night poker session with his buddies. So when his wife […]