Local
Egghead Scientists Need To Pick Up Pace, Demands Functional Idiots
"Chop Chop, Marcus Welby! We ain't got all day!"
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Baby Boomer Annoyed Doomed Generation Not More Grateful For Car Magazine Collection
After careful consideration and months of planning, including drawing up a revised will, a local baby boomer was perturbed this week when his son...
Local Man Confronts Gut-Wrenching Inevitability Of Wednesday
Yes, this is happening now.
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Dog Owner Shuts Front Door, Transforms Into New Human Never Seen Before
"If only my owner were here to see this."
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Local Man Unconcerned By Trade War Since His Stuff Comes From Walmart
Although it has many Americans concerned, President Trump's provocations of China over trade issues hasn't seemed to bother local insurance adjuster and football coach...
Report: Mom And Dad Communicating In Weird New Code
It looks a lot like that bank language they use on checks.
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Mueller Finally Buckles Down To Write That Report That Due In Two Days
WASHINGTON DC -
Saying it's been hanging over his head for most of the summer and a good chunk of the winter, Special Prosecutor Robert...
Aunt Unaware She’s Running White Grievance-Themed Gift Shop
KENESHAW, WI
A local aunt who opened a gift store last year to earn some extra money has reportedly been buying signs and t-shirts with...
Man Playing 4 Dimensional Chess With God Actually Playing Modified Game Of Checkers
SHELVRE, DELAWARE -
Despite a firm conviction that he was locked in a deadly battle of multi-dimensional chess for control of the universe with the...
Co-Workers Institute Casual Fridays Now That Boss Has Been Murdered
MENLO PARK, CA -
Outlining a bright future ahead during an impromptu meeting of the 7th floor staff this week, co-worker Steve got the sales...
Man Forgives Basketball Hoop That Taunted Him As A Child
BROOKLYN, NY -
Errole Sanders has fond memories of his childhood growing up in the Fort Greene area of Brooklyn. And among his favorite recollections...
Shop Teacher On Patrol No Longer Showing Up To Teach Class
CLARKTOWN, AR -
In what has become routine during Gantner Middle School's 5th hour wood-working class, students found themselves without a teacher again on Wednesday...
Man Who Received 23 Texts From Boss While On Vacation Not Coming Back To Work
BARNSTABLE, MA -
Smashing the previous record of thirteen texts set during his vacation last year, a local man who received a twenty-third text from...
Woman Can’t Believe You Think Tinder Photo Resembles You
SEATTLE, WA -
Though she's been on enough dates to know that people rarely live up to their online profile photos, still, a local woman...
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