National
Congress Pledges To Simplify Tax Code By Adding 14 New Worksheets
WASHINGTON, DC -
Building on the popularity of the changes to this year's forms, including six "building-block" schedules and new rules affecting 50 million filers,...
Trump Orders National Guard To Begin Work On Giant Cheeseburger
WASHINGTON DC -
In response to growing levels of frustration with congress' refusal to fund his administration's initiatives, President Trump this week ordered the National...
Attack On Socialism Prompts Millions Of Teens To Google How To Become Socialist
UNITED STATES -
During his State Of The Union address, the president’s impassioned plea for Americans to reject the evils of socialism triggered an unexpected...
White House Scales Back Wall Proposal, Eliminates Catapults
WASHINGTON DC -
In the interest of forging a compromise with Democrats on the wall between Mexico, the White House announced this week that they...
NRA Clarifies Mission, Changes Name To National Russian Association
FAIRFAX, VA -
In the wake of revelations concerning millions of dollars in contributions received from Russian oligarchs over a period of many years, the...
Trump Delivers Historic Schittysberg Address
SCHITTYSBERG, KY -
Although frequently maligned for not knowing the significance of American history, or the proper decorum for a sitting president, Donald Trump today...
House Republicans Look Forward To Leaving “All This Unpleasantness” Behind
WASHINGTON DC -
In a gesture of goodwill toward Democrats this week on the heels of the midterm elections, House Republicans said they are glad...
RBG Admits Broken Ribs Sustained During Ultimate Fighting Match
WASHINGTON DC -
After reporters uncovered a series of training videos showing her sparring in a cage, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg admitted today...
Giant Caravan Of Meatpackers, Housekeepers, And Farmworkers Threatens US
MEXICO -
In a bid to secure thousands of low-paying jobs that no American wants to do, an enormous crowd of workers from across...
Nation’s 911 Operators Overwhelmed As YouTube Experiences Brief Outage
UNITED STATES -
Dramatically exposing a serious vulnerability in the nation's emergency response system, millions of 911 calls overwhelmed dispatchers across the country last night...
Supreme Court Looking Forward To Attending “Anything Goes” Keg Parties
WASHINGTON DC -
Anticipating the impending confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh later this week, justices on the Supreme Court were already looking forward to the devil...
Republicans Pretty Sure Everyone Will Forget All About This Stuff By Monday
WASHINGTON DC -
Citing general distractedness and the excitement of football among other factors, Republicans expressed confidence today that all the crazy stuff that's been...
Berkshire Hathaway Discovers It Owns Rhode Island During Routine Audit
OMAHA, NB -
The American multinational conglomerate Berkshire Hathaway, headquartered in Omaha, Nebraska, made a surprising discovery this week when one of its accountants realized...
New “America First Bucks” To Replace Dollar As US Currency
WASHINGTON DC -
In a bid to right the struggling American economy, the US Treasury announced this week that a new currency called "America First...
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