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Thursday, February 29, 2024

College Student Relieved To Discover Social Security Will Almost Cover Student Loan Payments When She Retires

SANDUSKY, OH - In the bustling college town where she is working toward her bachelor’s degree in Psychology, local college student Sarah Miler was relieved...

Former President Says He Wasn’t An Officer Since He Was Rarely In The Office

JUPITER, FL - Addressing controversy surrounding his time as president of the United States, former President Donald Trump asserted in...

Frozen Iowa Caucus-Goer’s Dying Wish To Own Libs

ORANGE CITY, IA - In the small town of Orange City, where winters can be harsh and unforgiving, local man...

Report: I Selfie, Therefore I Am

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - An international conference of philosophers meeting in Geneva this week unanimously endorsed a paper presented by University of Lyon Professor Edwin Grunschveld stating that "Selfito, ergo sum", (Latin: “I Selfie, therefore...

Mom’s New Years Resolution To Find Out More About The Rizzler

With the goal of starting off the new year with an interesting side project, local mom Ruth Bridnap made a resolution to do some more internet research on who exactly the Rizzler was. An...

FAA Assured By Boeing Missing Wing Was No Big Deal

  Saying a software fix was on the way, Boeing executives assured authorities at the Federal Aviation Administration last June that an early design of the 737 Max airliner with one wing was completely safe, according...

Punching People At Awards Shows Added To List Of Things Celebrities Allowed To Do

  They just let you do it.   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

King Kong Godzilla Beef Been Building For Years Say Producers

  Starting with a misunderstanding over a banana truck years ago while filming the 1962 movie "King Kong vs Godzilla", and escalating thru the years during assorted press interviews and perceived slights, a beef...

Alabama Couple Builds New Lake Home After Claiming 23 Frozen Embryos As Dependents

DAUPHIN ISLAND, AL - A circuit court judge in Montgomery, Alabama, ruled on Wednesday that a couple can claim 23 frozen embryos as dependents for the years 2010-2024 and is entitled to a full tax refund from the federal government for the additional exemptions for each extra-uterine child. The ruling will enable the couple to recapture significant tax benefits in excess of 1.5 million dollars for the 14 year period, and allow them to fulfill their dream of building a luxurious lake home. According to the couple, the embryos were created through in vitro fertilization (IVF) in 2010, but they had yet to use them for a pregnancy. "There was an issue...

49ers Miss Flight Home After Being Surprised By TSA Security Rules At Airport

LAS VEGAS - The San Francisco 49ers encountered an unexpected setback on their journey home Monday after being completely taken aback by the series of...

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Local Man Who Lived With Secret Family For 6 Months Discovers Original Family Didn’t Realize He Was Gone

Local man Jonathan Windsor of East Peoria, Illinois, had been quietly leading a double life for several years after he met and later fathered two children with a woman in nearby Elmwood unbeknownst...

Botched Restoration Of Priceless 1961 Charlie Brown Draws Outrage

  What could they possibly have been thinking?   makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

NY Food Critic Savages Local Hospital Cafeteria, Awards It Zero Stars

Declaring that a deadly coronavirus outbreak is no excuse for flavorless eggs and pasty half-cooked bacon, well-known food critic Walter Paerce released a stinging three-page diatribe this week, excoriating the cafeteria of St....

BREAKING NEWS

CEO Asks Board To Clarify How He Can Be Paid So Much Friggin’ Money

NEW YORK - In an effort to gather more information from his...

Yale Graduate Announces He Forgot Erything He Lrn At Yale

Governors - they're just like us! makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.

Florida School Principal Fired After Math Teacher Writes 69 On Chalkboard

Really there should have been a trigger warning. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for...

Couple Adopts Incessantly Barking Emotional Sabotage Dog

Sometimes the cure is worse than the disease. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for...

80 Year Old Generation Of Lawmakers Makes Way For New 90 Year Old Generation To Take Over

People love a good franchise. makeamericathebest.com Your Trusted Source for Faux News.